“Living with Epilepsy.” “Lets talk about it.”

“Parents”

Good Morning and Welcome to the beginning of a great weekend.

Lets get personal! Today, I would like to talk about epilepsy and how my parents handled my being affected with epilepsy. Over the years, I have wondered how and why my parents handled the stress of my seizure disorder the way they did.  My father was the caring strong person always their to make sure I was alright, where my mother had a fear of death and would not get involved during my seizure, until it was all over then was caring.  Parents worry, no matter what. They are concerned over the wellbeing of their child, especially during and after a seizure. In my own personal experience, my parents worried to the extreme, which I do now understand, as a teen I felt differently.  Wanting to so badly to be like the other teens and do what the other teens were doing affected my heart and self esteem. Which of course carried into my adult hood, where I was lacking that “self esteem” Knowing that “Yes, I can accomplish anything” attitude was lost. The understanding that I only had epilepsy and my medication will control me, attitude was lost. I lived in fear.  Life for me turned into wanting “acceptance of others and not to be judged.” Today, I still look for others “acceptance.”  So as a teen through the rest of my adult life,  I looked for that comfort that was missing from my youth through adult hood.  to top it off,  I was lacking in relationships. Will a boyfriend love me for who I am!  Well guess what,  Many failed relationships!  Due to the lack of support and belief in myself, that I could do anything that I set my mind to. The person I had become was Tarnished.  Until now, yes I have gone through failed relationships like any other person, but I figured in my heart I would be “loved” by being a giver to my partner. I realized when I was washing the floor on hands and knees because that is how his mother did it and how he wanted it and the only correct way, opened my eyes fast.  Realizing that what I was experiencing was not real love, and just a dictatorship. I knew once again, that I had not experienced true love ever.  That was a WOW moment for me.  Well, I am a successful professional photographer, and Author. The work I create makes my clients feel overwhelmed with joy, the joy I was looking to give and receive as a child, teen and in relationships.  Then I met him! Yes, I am in love and finally met someone who understands what I have gone through in life “the good and scary.” I also understand him and what he has gone through.  We support each other on an emotional, empathetic and heart felt level.” Once again, thank you for allowing me to share such a personal story of challenge and struggle in life and how when you least expect it, life can  change for the good for you. Never allow anyone to put you down or say you cannot do “It.” You just need to believe in yourself and the unexpected.

Enjoy your weekend.

Maria

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